Crazy Mr. F

I was working segregation the other day and met an inmate we will call Mr. F.  Most of the inmates in seg are pretty typical inmates.  Some are there for fighting, some for drugs, and some for their own protection.  Mr. F however, he was there for being a nut case basically. 

Mr. F is the child of a Catholic mom and Jewish dad.  Interesting combination I am sure.  He is very religious in his own way and would preach from either religion at the top of his lungs.  To top it off, he is usually wearing a towel wrapped around his head and another wrapped around his underwear almost like a diaper.  I have no idea why, but he does.  The inmates yell for him to stop and he just keeps going long.

He also likes to throw temper tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants.  He was in the middle of one the other day when I met him.  I don't even remember what it was he wanted but it was something small that seemed meaningless to the rest of us but something we weren't allowed to do for some reason.  He wasn't happy and proceeded to bang his head against the door over and over again while screaming obscenities at the top of his lungs. When that didn't get him the attention he wanted, he decided to plug up the toilet and flood his cell.  If any officer tried to enter his cell, he would throw his excrement at them. 

So, we ended up calling in our team that is specially trained to deal with cases like him.  They ended up stripping down his cell to nothing, turning off the water (he is offered water for drinking periodically), and leaving him in nothing but disposable underwear that is typically used in the suicide cells (it's made so that no part of it can be used to hurt themselves with).  After all was said and done, I was walking out of the office and down the tier.  The view from the office happens to go straight into his cell.  As I walked out of the office, I see this average size 50 something yr old man in nothing but flimsy underwear on his bed jumping up and down in another tantrum with his manhood bouncing all over the place.  Something I would have been more than happy to never have had the pleasure of viewing.  Please, if I ever get to that point, just shoot me.  Don't allow me to make such a fool of myself. 

As for Mr. F, he was sent back to his until and shortly after returned to segregation for his own protection.  The other inmates are ready to kill the guy for some strange reason.  

Things some are willing to do...

Drug addiction is not something I have never had to deal with.  It is something I have never wanted to mess with.  Some people are willing to do ANYTHING for their drugs and I mean ANYTHING!  I see it quite often.

For example, one of the inmates was having a visit with his mother.  She had brought in drugs for him and was caught.  I am sure you can probably guess how they were brought in.  I don't want to be too graphic, but the nickname I have often heard is natures purse.  Well, when they were caught, the man decided to dispose of it, by swallowing it.  That's right, he swallowed what his mother had brought in from an area most people want nothing to do with.  I don't know about you, but as much as I love my mom, no way would I do something like that.  I don't want to be THAT close to her.  Ugh.  Anyway, he was put on defecation watch until it came out 12 hrs later so it did him no good anyway.

Another couple of guys were caught with chewing tobacco that was brought in from another inmate using the same method.  While another officer was talking to them she asked it they realized where it came from.  Their answer was yes, but it was wrapped in plastic wrap.  She reminded them that liquid can still seep in from plastic wrap.  Gives a whole new meaning to butt chewing, doesn't it?