The graveyard shift at our institution is called first shift.  First shift starts just as the inmates are sent to bed and ends just as they are getting ready for breakfast.  There just isn't much to do on first shift.  They may search the day rooms and do random UAs but unless something out of the ordinary kicks off, there isn't much to do.

People can get pretty desperate when bored and COs are no exception.  One particular night, someone brought in Carolina Reapers.  If you haven't heard about Carolina Reapers, you are in for a treat.  They are hotter than hot peppers considered the hottest in the world.  They were created specifically for their heat.  Here is a video of people trying it:

Anyway, so an officer decided to bring some in and see how many other officers he could get to try them.  He not only had all the staff in his unit, but also started gathering them from other areas of the prison including those meant to respond to emergencies.  Problem.  The officers willing to try the pepper had the expected result.  Many were throwing up for hours and some were in such bad pain that they stayed huddled in a ball for hours.  Luckily, no emergency happened.  Can you imagine what would have happened if a fight broke off or there was a medical emergency?  They break off at a moments notice and we could have had the majority of our staff out of commission.  To make matters worse, this particular unit is our max unit where the majority of emergencies come from.

I understand the boredom and all but you really got to think these things through.  Don't risk you job or the lives of others for entertainment.  You have a job to do.  If you can't handle the boredom without doing something stupid, find a new job.

Sleep walking

We had two offenders from the same cell with injuries.  When the offenders were questioned, one said he had a bad dream and woke up to find himself fighting with his cellmate.  He claims he was sleepwalking.  When his cellmate was questioned, he said he woke up to find himself fighting his cellmate and was also sleepwalking.  Really?  You expect us to believe that?  Some of the excuses they come up with are so laughable.  If you are going to lie, at least make it believable.

There is no privacy in prison, even as a Sgt

I was working front desk again and bored out of my mind.  There really isn't much to do when you work front desk other than letting visitors into visitation.  During the time that visitors were beginning to enter, a little old lady asked if she could use the restroom cause she really had to go.  I let her back into the area where the restroom is located and saw that it was in use so I just asked her to wait until whoever was in there was done and then headed back to my post.

A few minutes later a Sgt comes rushing out looking very upset.  I asked him what was going on as he is pacing back and forth with obvious frustration.  He then tells me that he headed up front to use the restroom so he could poop in private.  Just as he settles in, this little old lady begins pounding on the door and asking him how long he is going to take.  Then she asks him if he is almost done.  She continues to knock and bug him until the poor guy gives up and comes out.  He was so livid that it just made it that much better.  I wish I could have captured his face on camera for you.  He won't be living this one down anytime soon!

"You done yet?"

Did he just say fat chicks?

Inmates come in all shapes and sizes.  We have one particular inmate that is just tiny.  I am talking like 4 foot 5 and probably 60-70 lbs.  He is known for his tiny size.  As I was holding the door for mass move yesterday, he walked off the tier with a buddy of his and they were talking.  All I heard from him was, "Fat chicks.  I love fat chicks!  The fatter, the better."  I think my jaw probably hit the floor and I had to contain my laughter as I am picturing this tiny guy with fat chicks.  Wow.  Not exactly what I expected but to each their own I guess.