Bend and squat
Recently we had an officer performing a strip search on an inmate. This particular inmate is a very large man. As strip searches go, one of the least fun as is. Well, this particular time as the inmate was told to bend and squat and the officer leaned forward to check for contraband, the inmate ripped a large, stinky one. The officer just about fell over. The smell was horrible. The officer then asked the inmate, "Did you seriously just fart in my face?" The inmates response was just great. He said, "Yeah, just showing you I ain't carrying anything up there." Touche.